I know that blogs are supposed to be gradual...but I missed out on almost two months of adding photos and moments. So I am currently doing my best to catch you all up, and once i accomplish that THEN, only then, can I discuss what is going on with me now. I will attempt to do the "update" in two posts, each one pertaining to a month that has passed....but who knows, it may become a few more....
So sit back, breathe, and enjoy this long, long, long entry.
In the second week, we woke up at 3 am one morning. Why? To go pray Slichot before Rosh Hashanah, of course. We all rolled out of bed, drank shoko b'sakit (translation = chocolate milk in a bag, for all of the sad people out there who have never experienced this), put on our modest clothing, and walked to a Sephardic synagogue. Sadly, I spent most of the service standing on my toes trying to see over the separation; yet it was an interesting experience nonetheless.
After the Slichot at 3 am, the entire group walked to the beach where we performed our own version of tashlich- a ceremony in which one throws away one's sins into water.
One of the things that I had anxiously anticipated, and that we spent HOURS discussing in the first week, was how to "do" Shabbat in the Mechina. Shabbat is extremely personal. Each person understands it and observes in an entirely unique way. I always receive the question: Do you keep shabbat? And for the longest time I answered, "Yes. It may not be your definition of 
"keeping shabbat," yet I observe it." However, in the last two weeks my answer to the question has changed. My idea of shabbat has greatly opened up, and I'm not even sure if I would consider myself as someone who "keeps shabbat." Currently, i am just doing my best to find what feels right; what feels the most meaningful to me. Although we made many decisions, (in my opinion) thus far, every shabbat has been an entirely different experience. We are still very much figuring out how to make shabbas work, and how to make it meaningful for everyone. The texture of each shabbat feels differently, and different aspects reach out to me depending on the week...For example, my favorite moment of the first shabbat was a small tiyul that Gabriella, Errel, and myself took in Old Yafo. In the second shabbat, it was the spontaneous oneg shabbat that occurred after dinner. I am not complaining. I enjoy surprises. However, routine is something that I find much comfort in. So I am patient. I anxiously await the day when I look forward to some ritual that is specifically meaningful to every member of the Mechina...but until then, we are still experimenting.
This is how we communicate with our neighbors across the hall.
IN SHORT: the first month flew by. It was filled with an opening seminar, MANY hours spent in rooms making decisions about shabbat, kashrut and tefillah, learning how to live in an apartment with 3 girls and 7 boys, a first aid course, getting to know Yafo, and experiencing the high holidays in Israel.
A note on the high holidays: It is very bizarre to experience the high holidays in a certain way for your entire life, and then for it to suddenly change. For me, it was difficult to connect with Rosh Hashanah in Israel. It simply did not feel like the Rosh Hashanah I am used to-- you know, the holiday always filled with very long and sometimes painful services, the 5 million people that you do not see the rest of the year, and the catching up with friends. However, Yom Kippur, although different, struck me as much more meaningful in Jerusalem. It was a powerful experience. In Saint Louis, I am used to missing school on Yom Kippur, driving to shul, fasting while everyone in the outside world is eating, and passing the time with my friends. Yet in Israel, Yom Kippur does not just belong to the religious, or those who choose to observe it. It belongs to everyone. The atmosphere is simply filled with meaning, understanding, cleansing.
In the evening, we went to Kol Nidre at HUC to hear my aunt Naami Kelman deliver a sermon, which I especially connected to, for half of the content discussed my family's roots. I was blown away by Naami's oratory skills, I am sure that she moved everyone with her speech. The line that I remember most clearly was when we firmly said, "Even when you think that God has abandoned you, do not abandon God."
After the service, Daphi and I left the Hebrew Union College in our white garb and began to walk towards Emek Refayim in the center of the road. In most situations, (ESPECIALLY IN ISRAEL) it is quite dangerous to wander in the middle of the road. However, on Yom Kippur, one of the aspects that adds to the change in atmosphere is the lack of transportation. Only hundreds of people traveling by feet and the bikers took advantage of the abandoned roads. As we approached Emek Refayim, all I could see was a wave of white. Hundreds of fasting (and non-fasting) people covered in white clothing had gathered at what seemed like "schmooze central." I found a nice little group of Mechina members, and stood with them as I processed how wonderful it was to see them outside of the framework of the Mechina.
During the first month, I returned to Jerusalem 4 times. The first time was a relief, but after that it became too much. All I wanted to do was settle in somewhere, yet I was absolutely prevented from doing that. It took some time to figure out how to deal with the coming-and-going. It seems to me that it is simply another component of the Mechina, learning to be flexible and to deal with change.
No comments:
Post a Comment